30 is the new 20: Deal with It!

I ruined my 20’s.

The first half of the decade, I partied hard, made friends, lost friends, and finished college like I promised my parents I would. On the downhill of my 20’s, I rushed in a panicked frenzy to get my life together. I secured a means of income, a savings account, and an apartment on my own. I helped my little brother who was just starting his college career, and attempted to raise my baby brother in his final year of high school away from our hometown.

At 21, I kept my heart open in hopes that my Prince Charming would rescue me and tend to my damsel-in-distress tendencies. At 27 I’m struggling to hold on to long distance relationship in hopes that my boyfriend of 3 years, will marry me… or at least tolerate me for long enough that we can be considered married by common law when we reunite.

According to psychologist Meg Jay, I’ve (ALMOST) been living my 20’s in the appropriate manner. In her TED Talk, “Why 30 Isn’t the New 20” - she declared that 30 is not the new 20. She called those 10 years the “developmental sweet spot.” You’re supposed to be taking this time to get your life’s plan together and working diligently in pursuit of your career. She explained that “80 percent of life’s most defining moments take age by age 35,” so by the time you’ve started paying attention, you’ve missed plenty of opportunities on many aspects of your life. No wonder we’re starting our psychotic routines of searching for the perfect love life and the perfect job as early as we do.

Statistically speaking, Jay explained that the first 10 years of a career can have an “exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn.” Those first 10 years lead us well into our 30's, and if we haven’t been climbing the corporate ladder or gaining the work experience needed, then we’ve been wasting them.

At this point, Meg Jay is saying that I’ve been squandering time, and a study from PayScale.com has the numbers to back her. According to said study, women and men see a salary growth of about 60% by age 30, but women’s pay peaks at age 39 at about $60,000.

$60,000 for the rest of my working career, and that’s only if I worked my way up in a job that would offer a salary of those number. Those statistics are bleak, and it can make anyone in my age bracket ask the same questions that women ask Jay all the time:

“I've got nothing to show for my 20s. What was I doing? What was I thinking?”

Looking at my friends’ Facebook pages, with their marriages and children a plenty, I wonder if what Meg Jay says is true. Is what she considers being ill-prepared going to be my downfall in the end?

No.

If anything, being single and without a kid is an advantage.

LinkedIn career expert, Nicole Williams, confirms “Your 20's are actually a great time for career exploration, because you're young, people often really want to help you. It's also the best time to take the greatest career risks—most likely, you don't have a mortgage, you don't have kids. It's a good time to try something significant. Even if you fail, you have time to rebound."

I relocated my life for a promotion without having to uproot an entire family. I can decide on taking a trip at the drop of a hat without the hassle of finding a babysitter. Why don’t I feel like I’m the victor in this situation?

I think that living in your 20's is more about learning how to survive. True enough, there should be provisions made for career development when it comes to those 10 years. Making those plans now will set you up for success in the future, but what about the fun?

If you can get through a chunk of your 20's without kids and you don’t explore and travel, don’t you think you’ll regret it more when you’re saddled with kids – those gifts from God…

If you’ve always wanted to be your own boss and one day you decide to quit your job and become your own business woman, for the sake of your marriage – would your partner be OK with taking on the burden of paying the bills?

Those are decisions that I’m not ready to take as a 27-year-old, and 30 is right around the corner.

Your 20's are the preparation years. Have fun. Get to know yourself as an individual before you meet yourself as a wife or a mother. Don’t stifle your growth with laziness, but don’t base your success on how far up the corporate ladder. Save. Save anything and everything that you can, so that you will always be fiscally responsible and comfortable. But also save so that you can enjoy this crazy thing called life.

Because life’s about the journey, not the destination, right?